On a night like this...

Right now, I feel like God is opening so many doors. Just one after another. I can't explain the feeling. It's been so long since I really have felt like things were working out. It's probably been a year. Since Eric died this time last year, and with everyone leaving, it just hasn't been easy, and sometimes it's been weird. I feel like the mourning of the change is finally over and I'm starting to come back to life again. I'm starting to get back to my old self. The crazy, funny, positive self that I was a year and a half ago. The person I was before my internship at the church. Don't get me wrong, I've changed a lot for the good in the past year and a half, but I lost sight of parts of myself, that I think are finally coming back. Thank God, what a feeling.
I really feel that the things I'm pursuing right now are things only of God. I know that they are of God because God is constantly giving me the strength and the heart to keep going with them. Not to get discouraged when something doesn't quite go the way I thought, but to look for the other door. It's not that everything I've done in the past couple of months wasn't of God, but I don't think I heard Him clearly on some things and I gave a lot of energy to stuff that my heart wasn't even into, which made it even harder. Everything is turning around, and I love it.