I just showed up for my own life.

My name is Foreigner
From a far away land
My feet are covered in earth
They've been here and back again
And I have seen
Great things from a distance
They beckon me
I follow them

And I move forward
I move forward
I move forward to home, to home

My eyes are soft and wise
They tell a story
Of things left behind
Defeat and glory

And I push every hindrance aside


New semester on Monday. New expectations. The weird thing is, I feel like Christmas break was a time of brand new things. Like, I just started over. It's weird. A lot of things changed. I feel like I changed, things that I used to know changed. With Shockwave changing and getting an answer about Mexico, it's weird. Mexico is going to be awesome, and I'm leading it. The other night I was telling Amy how much I hate being 19, and how I feel that I get held back because of it. I also said that I wish I was just 30, married and had kids, because people always seem to listen to people who are older and married. But in one day, being 19 didn't matter. In one day I was offered two huge roles. Amy said, "If you have this much influence at 19, what will you be when you're 30 with kids." I don't know. Kind of a scary and exciting thought. But definitely an exciting thought.

It's funny, because something happened the other day that made me so mad and upset and just made me feel worthless. I was sitting in my car, yelling/crying/screaming at God and just asking, why. I was pissed. Why do I always find myself in these situations? Why do they always end up the same way? Then, out of nowhere a got a phone call for a meeting that turned it all completely around.

I'm glad I got my hopes up.