change

Inevitable. With a lot of us around the office leaving and some of us staying; next year is going to be different. It would be different either way, just because no year is the same. Part of me, thinks it sucks. Right when I finally stop feeling like a stranger in this place, the people I had gotten used to, are leaving. But then, part of me, is excited and optimistic. I really do feel like God is going to lift up some leaders and everything is going to grow, and that's exciting to me. You know when things are just about to change, and you can feel it well up in your heart. That's how I'm feeling now. I'm not really sure why because life isn't really going to change drastically for me anytime soon. I'm gonna live with the Korby's, lead my d-team, join Hereford YoungLife and help out with things around the church. nothing that I haven't done before. But I still feel some huge change on the horizon. There is a song that I stumbled upon a year ago, that I love. I think it has a lot to do with kind of what I've been feeling lately. I go back to it from time to time and just listen to it because some of the words are so encouraging.

As I survey the ground for ants
Looking for a place to sit and read
I'm reminded of the streets of my hometown
How they're much like this concrete that's warm beneath my feet

And how I'm all wrapped up in my mother's face
With a touch of my father just up around the eyes
And the sound of my brother's laugh
But more wrapped up in what binds our ever distant lives

But if I must go
Things I trust will be better off without me
But I don't want to know
Life is better off a mystery

Mysteries keep us interested. They keep us on the edge. They're so addicting to read and watch because you have no idea what comes next. If you knew the ending, you wouldn't be so enthused about what goes on in the middle chapters. I really believe its the mystery in our lives that keeps us going.

So keep'em coming these lines on the road
And keep me responsible be it a light or heavy load
And keep me guessing with these blessings in disguise
And I'll walk with grace my feet and faith my eyes

This is probably one of my life-time song verses. I want life to continue, but whatever is thrown my way, something little or huge, I want/need to be held accountable for it. There are so many hidden things that God does in our lives that we rarely ever take the time to really examine. I don't want to follow the path that I've made, or the one I think is the best, I want it to be solely God.

Hometown weather is on TV
I imagine the lives of the people living there
And I'm curious if they imagine me
Cause they just wanna leave; I wish that I could stay

But I get turned around
I mistake some happiness for blessing
But I'm blessed as the poor
Still I judge success by how I'm dressing

That is so typical. I think it is so easy for us to take the (good) things that God gives us and connect them to being happy. Not everything that makes us "happy" is a blessing. Things from God make us joyful, and yes, can make us happy, but I think that its important to survey what things we are truly doing for/because God and what we're doing out of our own selfishness.

So I'll sing a song of my hometown
I'll breathe the air and walk the streets
Maybe find a place to sit and read
And the ants are welcome company

And I'll walk with grace my feet and faith my eyes
And I'll walk with grace my feet and faith my eyes

I don't know. As much as I don't like change, I know that it has to happen in order for everyone to find their true calling. Change is what allows us to find our real selves. Waiting and trusting go hand in hand with change.

But God's not finished. He's waiting around to be gracious to you.
He's gathering strength to show mercy to you.
God takes the time to do everything right—everything.
Those who wait around for him are the lucky ones.

Isaiah 30:18 (The Message)