As I sit outside of Starbucks on this perfect, sunny, 75 degree day I have one phrase going through my mind, Seriously Ridiculous.
Life here is unreal. Money isn't really an object to most of the people who are living here. They're not worried about if they'll get a paycheck next week, or if they'll have enough money to get through until next month. If/when the car breaks down, the driver will go get it fixed and then I need not to think about it again.
I had a conversation with a young student last week. He is in 5th grade and is curious about everything. He asks a lot of questions, but for the most part, they're usually questions that we all think, we just have too much pride to ask. He asked me when I was going home, and I told him at the end of May. He then asked when I was coming back...I responded with "I'm not." I could in his face that this was a surprise. More questions came some along the lines of "Why" and "What will you do back home" and many more full of details of what my life will look like back home. Then, at the end he asked, "Why would you even come here if you weren't going to stay that long? That's really unfair."
Wow. Just when I was having one of those "God, why am I in China?" moments, and he throws this questions out. I didn't an answer. Was I really so naive to think that God would bring me out here to have no effect? Was I selfish enough to believe that I was in China so that I could focus solely on myself?
This conversation of questions has made me think a lot. It made me realize that the next time I go somewhere, I want it to be for more than just a few months. God has given me incredible relationships here, and I feel like with most of them, I am just getting to the point where they're deeper and more meaningful, and now, I'm about to leave. Also, that God uses us in ways we never think about. I've talked to that particular student only a few times, and somehow, somewhere, God has used me to impact him in a way that he will actually be sad to see me go.
The challenges here are a different kind of hard. It's less worrying about materialistic things and more about relationships. Who is going home for good, first? That kid that sits next to you in 1st period chemistry might not be there tomorrow because his family had to pack up and move back home suddenly. "Home" is a foreign word. This kids and families are good at saying goodbye, but that that doesn't make it easier. They might know where they're next paycheck is coming from, but have no idea who is going to fill the role of "best friend."
In my family, money was talked about a lot. We were by no means "poor" but some weeks were better than others and family vacations were far and few. I believed for a long time that a little bit more money would make things better, easier, but now as I sit in one of the most prestigious parts of Shanghai, I'm coming to realize that I would gladly take fewer vacations and cheaper clothes for a stable support group and a place to call home.
We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake so that his life may be revealed in our mortal body.
2 Corinthians 4:10-11
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