sun won't you come shine some light in our lives.

As I sit outside of Starbucks on this perfect, sunny, 75 degree day I have one phrase going through my mind, Seriously Ridiculous.

Life here is unreal. Money isn't really an object to most of the people who are living here. They're not worried about if they'll get a paycheck next week, or if they'll have enough money to get through until next month. If/when the car breaks down, the driver will go get it fixed and then I need not to think about it again.

I had a conversation with a young student last week. He is in 5th grade and is curious about everything. He asks a lot of questions, but for the most part, they're usually questions that we all think, we just have too much pride to ask. He asked me when I was going home, and I told him at the end of May. He then asked when I was coming back...I responded with "I'm not." I could in his face that this was a surprise. More questions came some along the lines of "Why" and "What will you do back home" and many more full of details of what my life will look like back home. Then, at the end he asked, "Why would you even come here if you weren't going to stay that long? That's really unfair."

Wow. Just when I was having one of those "God, why am I in China?" moments, and he throws this questions out. I didn't an answer. Was I really so naive to think that God would bring me out here to have no effect? Was I selfish enough to believe that I was in China so that I could focus solely on myself?

This conversation of questions has made me think a lot. It made me realize that the next time I go somewhere, I want it to be for more than just a few months. God has given me incredible relationships here, and I feel like with most of them, I am just getting to the point where they're deeper and more meaningful, and now, I'm about to leave. Also, that God uses us in ways we never think about. I've talked to that particular student only a few times, and somehow, somewhere, God has used me to impact him in a way that he will actually be sad to see me go.

The challenges here are a different kind of hard. It's less worrying about materialistic things and more about relationships. Who is going home for good, first? That kid that sits next to you in 1st period chemistry might not be there tomorrow because his family had to pack up and move back home suddenly. "Home" is a foreign word. This kids and families are good at saying goodbye, but that that doesn't make it easier. They might know where they're next paycheck is coming from, but have no idea who is going to fill the role of "best friend."

In my family, money was talked about a lot. We were by no means "poor" but some weeks were better than others and family vacations were far and few. I believed for a long time that a little bit more money would make things better, easier, but now as I sit in one of the most prestigious parts of Shanghai, I'm coming to realize that I would gladly take fewer vacations and cheaper clothes for a stable support group and a place to call home.

We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake so that his life may be revealed in our mortal body.

2 Corinthians 4:10-11

birthdays

I'll write more on the trip itself later on, I'm still processing.

I got off the bus, the place I called home for 48 hours. It took us nearly 9 hours to get to Anhui and almost 11 to get back to Shanghai. In-between we spent a lot more traveling time in the bus or in little tiny vans traveling from village to village, I was ready to be on solid ground. It was Sunday night and I had been going strong and fast since we left on Friday. We met lots of people and saw a lot of different things and I was exhuasted.

Also, Sunday was Easter, as well as my birthday. Since I didn't know anyone on the trip, no one knew it was my birthday. I didn't tell anyone that it was; there wasn't a context for it, and the trip was in no way about me. We were there to serve and I didn't want change that. While we were on the way home I had my family and some friends call me to wish me a happy birthday and a great day. I would have a happy, great Easter Sunday, like always, but this Sunday was different.

Every Easter and holiday that we have at my Aunt Sharon's, we always would call my Uncle Mickey, who lives in Georgia, and pass the phone around and wish him a Happy Easter, give him the 5 minute synopsis of the last couple months in our lives and then pass the phone on. As my family called to wish me a Happy Easter and a Happy Birthday, I realized that for the first time in my whole life, I was on the other side of that phone call. I was the one listening to the 5 minute wrap up of what has gone on since I left, and then in turn, give my version a couple times. I hated it; and because of the time difference, they couldn't even call me as a group, it had to be individually early in the morning(for them) so that I would still be awake. Needless to say, I was homesick.

The bus dropped us off at the clubhouse in my neighborhood. As I walk home, I realize how tired, worn out, stretched, sad I am, combined with many many other emotions that I can't quite figure out. I'm sad because the most I had laughed in days was when I was on the phone with someone who was 10,000 miles away. I walk around the corner, I can now see my house, just a few more steps and I'm there. I will walk in, give the very brief unprocessed version of my weekend and then proceed downstairs where I will pass out.

My plan is dramtically changed when I push open the front door and see this:



I stood there for a second, registering. I peek around the corner and the dining room is full of people who are there, on Easter night to welcome me home and celebrate my birthday with me. Lee, Brad, Natalie, Adrienne, Abby, Brenda, David, Ron, Ally, Isabel, Matt, Charles and Etienne, all who waited there for hours because my original ETA was 7:30, and I walked in the door at 9:30.

I was so excited, joyful, tired, hungry, grateful, and many other things that I was shaking for the first ten minutes. I also hadn't eaten a real meal in almost 24 hours because for some reason, duck necks, turtle, eel and chicken stomach just don't appeal to me.

It was exactly what I needed at the end of the weekend I had.

Anhui

pronounced ahn-way.

This weekend I get to go on a trip to Anhui, which is a small town about seven hours away from where I am in Shanghai. I'm really excited to see a different side of China. Being in Shanghai is different than being in any city in the States, but for the most part, its very similar. I can't wait to see a small town and the way people live there. I know this will be an eye opening experience. Also, I will be spending Easter, as well as my birthday in a car on some back roads. A road trip, for my birthday, this is, in all honesty, one of the best gifts I could recieve.

I will have a lot of pictures and stories to tell when I return. Have a great weekend and a very happy Easter!

Find an Easter Egg for me!

once in a lifetime

This past weekend, I had the awesome privilege of singing with a guy named Dillippe. He has been lots of places and met a handful of talented and famous people. I found out that he spent some time with the Hillsong worship team, and even played a few concerts with them. It is one of those moments that I know I will remember for years to come.

There have been more moments like this during my couple of months in China. Times where I sit back late that night and know that this particular oppotunity would have never come had I chosen differently a few months ago. I wouldn't know the students, with very different and diverse backgrounds than my own, that I know now. I wouldn't know how relationally yet introverted I can really be. I wouldn't have heard the gospel from a homeless man just waiting for a shower and some clean clothes. I would have never realized the joy of riding a bike around my compound on a sunny, clear day. I would have never appreciated a blue sky the way I do now.

The moments where I think to myself, if I was brought to China just to experience this one thing, I am a better person than the one that left Baltimore in January.

adapting.

Last night Chrissy had some people over to have dinner and play some cards. After a game of Up and Down the River, I decided to go home. I walk down to get my bike to find out that it is raining. It's the kind of rain, that back when I was working at Graul's, people would rather hang out in the lobby for a couple minutes and wait for it to "pass" instead of running to their cars. I was really tired and knew that waiting didn't really make much sense in my case because I was still going to bike home, so whether the rain decided to "let up" or stay strong, I was still going to get wet.
I remembered that in my purse I had my umbrella. I decided to do as the Chinese and ride with one hand on the handle bars and the other holding an umbrella over my head.





Tonight, Natalie, Adrienne and I went to get massages. We debated how we would get there...walk...bike...taxi. Adrienne and I both have a bike but Natalie hasn't ridden on in a long time and doesn't have a desire to start. As we sat and watched tv, wasting some time before our massages, we realized that we didn't have enough time to walk there, we would ahve to ride a bike or take a taxi. It's not far to Dragon Fly, so it seemed silly to take a taxi...eventually, we decided on taking our bikes. My bike is like the bike in the picture above, and it has a rack on top of the back wheel, which can be used for putting a bag of groceries, carrying something heavy and in most cases in china, tranporting a person. Natalie rode on the back of my bike, just like the Chinese do. It is a LOT harder than it looks. Turns no longer can be as sharp as before, legs have to work a little bit harder and you never want to come to a full stop. We laughed the whole time, interrupted with some screams when I thought a bus and a car were going to hit us.
I can't imagine what the Chinese thought when they saw two foreigners on one bike, both with blonde hair. Definitely a recipe for some staring.