Far ahead the brush is moving, with others here the good is proving.

On the way to China, I had a lay over in San Francisco. I hadn't really thought much about leaving for China on the first flight out. I mean, I had, it was undeniably there, but I hadn't really processed it all yet. So, landing in San Fran, I could feel myself start tearing up. That's not a good sign with me. Then I talked to some people and eventually calmed down a bit. After a few phones calls and texts, a friend sent me a verse from 1 Peter. It says, "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." 5:7 That's it. Simple as that...right? It should be. It's always hard for me though. I freak out and get upset and anxious and worried about everything. Well, when I first got the text I read it, remembered the verse and clicked out of it. It's a verse I've heard a couple times before, seeing how this is not the first time I've been worried about something. Getting onto the plane, they have the famous, turn off all cell phones announcement. I waited until the LAST second to turn it off, knowing that it would be the last time I had it on for months. When I finally got the nerve to pick it up to turn it off that text message was on the screen, "'Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.' 1 Peter 5:7....do it." All of the sudden it was gone. I read it over and over again and finally realized the reality of it. Then other verses came to mind; Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Oh yeah, this whole China experience is not supposed to harm me. God wants me to have a future just as much as I do. His goal isn't to get me somewhere for "no reason."
Why is it that we so often forget this? I say "we" because I know I am not the only one. Why do I get in these places where I really believe that I'm doing something out of the will of God, when I KNOW He was the one who called me? Before I left Baltimore, I told people that I KNEW this was of God, mostly, because I have never once in my life wanted to go to China. Chrissy would talk to me about visiting, and I would just wait for her to come home and then see her. There were other reasons, it was a long process, but you get it.
Have you ever been to an amusement park, or had a really long day that was filled with a lot of walking and at the end of it you think to yourself, "There is no way I'm gonna make it." You get out of the park, getting ready to find the car, only to realize you're parked in the second to last row. All of the sudden the end doesn't see as close as it did. You're tired and exhausted and you're looking right at your car as you walk, and it doesn't seem to be getting closer. It feels like you're on a treadmill and you're going nowhere. You look down to the pavement to see if your feet are even going anywhere. At that point you realize that they are, in fact moving.
I know God has a plan. A huge one. Just for me. And sometimes, when all I do is focus on this HUGE thing, it feels like I'm not moving at all. It feels like I'm running and the plan, the will, whatever it is, is not getting any closer. It's not until I look down at my feet I realize that I AM moving. That even though my body, tired as it is, has me believing that I'll "never make it," I know that that is not the case.
I just have to take it one step at time. I need to stopping looking to the far future and trust that God has me taking these steps for a reason. That these steps, although they seem very small, are moving me right towards where I need/should be. It's then I realize that my shoes have a hole in them that I never noticed before, or it's then I realize all that is going on in my life right now; the people in it, my relationships, how I've changed.
I know this is a lesson I need to learn. I can write this now knowing and feeling the truths of the verses in the Bible, but I need to know and feel them all of the time.

Cast all of your anxiety on him because he cares for you. -1Peter 5:7

For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. -Jeremiah 29:11

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you, and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior. Isaiah 43:2-3a