The ultimate expression of faith...

...is waiting and preparing.

 

I heard that the other day at church and it stung.  A lot.  I'm a horrible waiter.  Maybe it's my lack of faith, and I'm sure combined with my need for control and impatience, does not come out to a great mix.  I've waited these last two years and was a brat about it. 

Getting ready for China has been weird.  Not hard, not really that exciting(yet). I know things will change as time goes on.  I have no idea what to expect when I get there, so it's hard for me to wrap my head around any of it.  At the same time, it's kind of exciting not knowing anything.  I'm not freaking out about details, because I know in the end everything will get worked out.  For once, I have nothing to be in control of.  The only thing I need to do is make sure I'm at the airport for the plane taking off and then, it's all out of my hands.

I need to start letting go of it now though.  Not only am I a horrible waiter, but I'm bad at letting go of things.  I guess they are kind of along the same lines.

Well in the midst of all of this, (It takes me HOURS to write one of these because I think about more stuff in the middle of it, or pick up some kind of book that JUMPED into my arms..) a song came on that hits me every time...Well, two songs.  One of them talks about how His plans are often different than our own.  Another one is talking about how God continuously, comes to us.  We push and push and push, and yet, somehow, for some reason, he's still there.

I have despised my crown, I chose to place it down
running to catch the wind
Feet bruised and blistered now from chasing shadows around
a maze of empty promises

Am I still within your view
Have I gone too far for you to come to me

I see through broken glass a world of innocence past
Can you take me back to Eden
I’ve traded truth for lies, I’ve got no alibi
no excuses to remove this blame

Will you leave me here alone in my kingdom on my throne
I need a mutiny
Still you come to me
Why would you come to me

-Come to Me by Reilly

 

But there’s a different plan for me
Something better that I cannot see
And it can only be beautiful wherever you are

It’s a wonderful world I see when you’re in my eyes
I always lose sight of me when you’re in my eyes
I never want to move I never want to find
that I’ve wasted all my time away from beautiful you

-Beautiful You by Reilly