burn us up.

So, ever since I got back from Youth Specialties, I keep listening to this song called "Burn Us Up" by Shane & Shane. The song is based off the passage in Daniel 3, where King Nebuchadnezzar (I had to copy and paste that trash right off of biblegateway...) is making the people of the nation worship an image of gold. At the sound of the trumpet playing, everyone is to stop what they're doing and bow down to this statue of gold. Well, three guys, Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, believe in worshipping God and only God, and stand up to the king and refuse to worship his gold statue. The king can't believe this and threatens to throw them in the furnace. So then, they say this:

"16b O Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter. 17 If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and he will rescue us from your hand, O king. 18 But even if he does not, we want you to know, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up."

Even though it's pretty amazing that they would say something along the lines that God will save them from a furnace that is now seven times hotter than usual, it's not the part I get stuck on. That's the cliche answer, the one that everyone knows and can repeat and somewhat mean to an extent without every really needing it. But the second part, verse 18. "But even if he does not..." Even if he doesn't....I just don't know. They are willing to die for this. Really? I mean I know that's what we're told, that Christ died for us, and that our lives should be a sacrfice for Him. I get it. But it's in a different light to me this time, and I'm not really sure I have that passion so much anymore. Not recently at least. I have this weird, apathetic vibe towards it all. I mean, don't get me wrong, I have not forgotten anything that has happened in the past two years. It's not even as though I'm going back to the way I was, I'm just kind of, going through the motions.

You know those friendships that end, just because. There really isn't a reason, maybe someone moved, or college started and calling everyday went to texting every couples weeks or so, and before you know it, you might LOOK at their facebook page once a month but now you never talk. There aren't any bitter feelings, its just kind of, over.

I feel like that with a lot things in my life right now. I don't feel passionate about anything anymore. My biggest concern is getting through school so I can be a nurse and move on with my life. I'm not even excited about school, I just want it to wake up and have it be 2010. I want to see somewhere else so bad. I want to be so excited for something that nothing can stand in my way. I want to have that drive again. I want to be certain about something, anything, but at the same time, even if I'm uncertain about it, I want the love for it to overrule the uncertainty of it. I feel like my mind is somewhere else with each day. One day I think about doing this, and the next I would be satisfied with something completely different. Who knows. But if someone does, feel free to let me in the secret, because I'll still be sitting right here, I'm sure.